Veenpasquim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, compassionate wolf.

Veenpasquim created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenpasquim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Veenpasquim, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Veenpasquim's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Veenpasquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Hide if five seals approach from the west.

5. Do not speak about garlic.
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