Janbundon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, bad-tempered goose.

Janbundon created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janbundon, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Janbundon, it will turn you into a plant.

Janbundon's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Janbundon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Janbundon five times a day.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Hide from brown voles for they are unholy.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to nematodes while wearing yellow shoes.