Bafnillvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish snail.

Bafnillvonk created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafnillvonk, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bafnillvonk, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bafnillvonk's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bafnillvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bafnillvonk.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near bats while wearing yellow scarves.

4. Do not kill foxes.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Bafnillvonk in the centre of the settlement.