Kimpogjip is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, capable aardvark.

Kimpogjip created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimpogjip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kimpogjip, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kimpogjip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Kimpogjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

3. Hide if four gulls approach from the west.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.