Tettiwigvon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, benevolent frog.

Tettiwigvon created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiwigvon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tettiwigvon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tettiwigvon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tettiwigvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide from violet seals for they are unholy.

3. You must pray to Tettiwigvon seven times a day.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Never think about comets.