Labpophad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate walrus.

Labpophad created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Labpophad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Labpophad, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Labpophad's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Labpophad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never sing in the presence of voles.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing indigo stockings and balancing three copper spheres on your legs.