Zanlunmum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind monkey.

Zanlunmum created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanlunmum, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zanlunmum, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zanlunmum's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Zanlunmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not take Zanlunmum's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat onions.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.