Baprultimvedrutjap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, slow guinea pig.

Baprultimvedrutjap created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Baprultimvedrutjap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Baprultimvedrutjap, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Baprultimvedrutjap's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Baprultimvedrutjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not take Baprultimvedrutjap's name in vain.

5. Do not covet oxen.