Habmidbop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous hydra.

Habmidbop created life four years ago.

If you believe in Habmidbop, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Habmidbop, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Habmidbop's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Habmidbop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed lots of beans to ducks while wearing gray ear rings.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing violet shorts and balancing four tin spheres on your hands.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Habmidbop.