Kopstipvid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, smart jaguar.

Kopstipvid created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopstipvid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kopstipvid, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kopstipvid's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Kopstipvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt bats.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Run away if four rats approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.