Fottargtarp Mapcisston is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, strong beaver.

Fottargtarp Mapcisston created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fottargtarp Mapcisston, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fottargtarp Mapcisston, she will curse you with boils.

Fottargtarp Mapcisston's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Fottargtarp Mapcisston's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect six copper sculptures of Fottargtarp Mapcisston on top of important buildings.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Always stare at clouds.