Ditbugster is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish swan.

Ditbugster created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbugster, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditbugster, it will turn you into a rat.

Ditbugster's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ditbugster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always look after injured frogs.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to voles while wearing yellow dresses.

5. Always help sick ducks.