Largmetmap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, witless manatee.

Largmetmap created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largmetmap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Largmetmap, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Largmetmap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Largmetmap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Largmetmap on top of important buildings.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Worship no other gods but Largmetmap.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never bounce in holy places.