Govzagtof is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, capable pig.

Govzagtof created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Govzagtof, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govzagtof, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Govzagtof's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Govzagtof's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

2. Govzagtof loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

5. Fast once a month.