Ladtonkdanrig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable cow.

Ladtonkdanrig created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtonkdanrig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ladtonkdanrig, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ladtonkdanrig's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ladtonkdanrig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. You must pray to Ladtonkdanrig four times a day.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.