Flangutmid Habsinsug is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, uncaring tapir.

Flangutmid Habsinsug created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flangutmid Habsinsug, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flangutmid Habsinsug, he will turn you into a hamster.

Flangutmid Habsinsug's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Flangutmid Habsinsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve shirts.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing red ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Never eat green fruit.