Nurtvedbon is a god.

It takes the form of a small, overgenerous lobster.

Nurtvedbon created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvedbon, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurtvedbon, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nurtvedbon's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nurtvedbon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Respect your elders.