Lansigtaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, loving rat.

Lansigtaf created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lansigtaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lansigtaf, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Lansigtaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lansigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.