Babstaftetti is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful otter.

Babstaftetti created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babstaftetti, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Babstaftetti, he will turn you into a rock.

Babstaftetti's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Babstaftetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.