Fomtofhim is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy otter.

Fomtofhim created the Sombrero Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomtofhim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fomtofhim, she will destroy your home planet.

Fomtofhim's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fomtofhim's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Always help sick porpoises.

3. Retreat if six voles approach from the north.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.