Fenpigrut is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, loving coyote.

Fenpigrut created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpigrut, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fenpigrut, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fenpigrut's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fenpigrut's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must pray to Fenpigrut six times a day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Retreat if nine foxes approach from the south.