Lanladrig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, generous goat.

Lanladrig created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanladrig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lanladrig, she will be very unhappy.

Lanladrig's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lanladrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Lanladrig loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.