Teenbasshad Venwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, weak dingo.

Teenbasshad Venwig created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Teenbasshad Venwig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Teenbasshad Venwig, it will destroy your home planet.

Teenbasshad Venwig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Teenbasshad Venwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Teenbasshad Venwig.