Shavspagkan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unselfish crane.

Shavspagkan created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavspagkan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Shavspagkan, it will send you a sign.

Shavspagkan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Shavspagkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Hide from indigo moths for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.