Ortnellnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, irritating jackal.

Ortnellnurl created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortnellnurl, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ortnellnurl, she will turn you into a rat.

Ortnellnurl's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Ortnellnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortnellnurl.

2. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the north.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.