Bossfomtar Sisfligkin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unthinking whale.

Bossfomtar Sisfligkin created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bossfomtar Sisfligkin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bossfomtar Sisfligkin, he will turn you into a snail.

Bossfomtar Sisfligkin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bossfomtar Sisfligkin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bossfomtar Sisfligkin nine times a day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed apples to sharks while wearing fawn shorts.

4. Run away if six pigs approach from the east.

5. Do not make images of living things.