Jopsagstig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, able tapir.

Jopsagstig created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Jopsagstig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jopsagstig, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jopsagstig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jopsagstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never feed nuts to badgers while wearing turquoise tights.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.