Tagfaspomlentunlabdam is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered monkey.

Tagfaspomlentunlabdam created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagfaspomlentunlabdam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tagfaspomlentunlabdam, she will jump up and down on your head.

Tagfaspomlentunlabdam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Tagfaspomlentunlabdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of snakes.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must love Tagfaspomlentunlabdam.

5. Run away if three birds approach from the north.