Faddanquill Nelhap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty manatee.

Faddanquill Nelhap created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faddanquill Nelhap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Faddanquill Nelhap, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Faddanquill Nelhap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Faddanquill Nelhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Faddanquill Nelhap.

4. Faddanquill Nelhap loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.