Febwanrul is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, ruthless dingo.

Febwanrul created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febwanrul, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Febwanrul, he will turn you into a puffin.

Febwanrul's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Febwanrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of gulls.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.