Vonkomingum is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, two-faced donkey.

Vonkomingum created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Vonkomingum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vonkomingum, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Vonkomingum's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vonkomingum's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vonkomingum.

2. Do not keep three ants in a large pit.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never hurt porpoises.