Cissjoncaddot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, annoying squid.

Cissjoncaddot created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissjoncaddot, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cissjoncaddot, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cissjoncaddot's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cissjoncaddot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing cyan dresses and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.

2. Do not speak about pineapples.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think ill of sick mites.

5. Do not drink alcohol.