Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, benevolent dog.

Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap, he will send minions to preach to you.

Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Jonhakgup Steryarlkiktap.

2. Run away from yellow rats, for they are unholy.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.