Queegwapfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, uncaring hydra.

Queegwapfarn created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegwapfarn, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Queegwapfarn, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Queegwapfarn's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Queegwapfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Swans are not to be trusted.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not shave your back.