Timvagtan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, kind rat.

Timvagtan created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timvagtan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Timvagtan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Timvagtan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Timvagtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. Never talk about cats.

4. Do not take Timvagtan's name in vain.

5. Never look in ponds.