Vagwongof is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, confident narwhal.

Vagwongof created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagwongof, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vagwongof, he will destroy your home solar system.

Vagwongof's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vagwongof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill hamsters.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. You must love Vagwongof.