Hanyarlcip is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, sapient hamster.

Hanyarlcip created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanyarlcip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hanyarlcip, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hanyarlcip's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Hanyarlcip's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hanyarlcip.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing fawn skirts and balancing six platinum spheres on your legs.