Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, calm spider.

Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg, it will turn you into a mouse.

Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Hide from purple badgers for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill otters.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Flatladapp Mitfidzaklunweg on top of all buildings.