Dittenyik is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, wise centipede.

Dittenyik created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dittenyik, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dittenyik, it will turn you into a duck.

Dittenyik's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dittenyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Dittenyik on top of all buildings.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Never mention bats.