Ligtailnel is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow squid.

Ligtailnel created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligtailnel, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ligtailnel, she will send you a sign.

Ligtailnel's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Ligtailnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to birds while wearing orange kilts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Do not stand on grass.