Kemlegwee is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, witty wolf.

Kemlegwee created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlegwee, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kemlegwee, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kemlegwee's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Kemlegwee's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Never eat onions.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.