Vinrutlib is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, compassionate giraffe.

Vinrutlib created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinrutlib, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vinrutlib, he will destroy your home planet.

Vinrutlib's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vinrutlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.