Rapcannad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, boastful mole.

Rapcannad created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapcannad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rapcannad, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rapcannad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Rapcannad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Hide from pink mites for they are unholy.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Do not listen to music.