Catlinlag Gumbifnighit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ruthless dragon.

Catlinlag Gumbifnighit created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catlinlag Gumbifnighit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catlinlag Gumbifnighit, she will strike you with lightening.

Catlinlag Gumbifnighit's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Catlinlag Gumbifnighit's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide if four ants approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Catlinlag Gumbifnighit loves seals, so they must be respected.