Bisscemhotbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, sapient shark.

Bisscemhotbeg created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bisscemhotbeg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bisscemhotbeg, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bisscemhotbeg's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bisscemhotbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Never think about spacetime near great tits while wearing green corsets and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Hide if six foxes approach from the north.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.