Ortsinmut is a god.

She takes the form of a small, merciless gnu.

Ortsinmut created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortsinmut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ortsinmut, she will turn you into a slug.

Ortsinmut's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Ortsinmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Ortsinmut on top of all buildings.

5. Feed all hungry geese.