Pondapvilyok is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, amazing mole.

Pondapvilyok created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Pondapvilyok, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pondapvilyok, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pondapvilyok's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Pondapvilyok's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not keep five birds in a large pit.

5. Do not chop down trees.