Witdimdam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, staggering goose.

Witdimdam created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Witdimdam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Witdimdam, she will destroy your favourite star.

Witdimdam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Witdimdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.