Lammobweecam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, boastful parrot.

Lammobweecam created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lammobweecam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lammobweecam, it will turn you into a tree.

Lammobweecam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Lammobweecam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven snakes approach from the south.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Never feed onions to mites while wearing tights.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near mice while wearing white hats and balancing six gold spheres on your back.
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