Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, smart rhinoceros.

Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab, she will curse you with boils.

Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing black tights.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bastdimcut Dubnantitnull Sawdutjab.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Pray towards the north.