Batmanzim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, witty newt.

Batmanzim created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batmanzim, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Batmanzim, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Batmanzim's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Batmanzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Never paint your arms yellow.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Batmanzim.

5. Do not stand on grass.