Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful butterfly.

Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near tortoises while wearing mauve skirts and balancing eight silver spheres on your chest.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must love Kimxempak Somhakhom Fobsascen.